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The Days of MY Life

May. 24th, 2016

06:49 am - Meatloaf--Anything for Love

Wow, that's a long song. Long song. heh

I'd Do Anything for Love
By Meat Loaf


And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire
Some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again
Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no-one else can save me now but you
As long as the planets are turning
As long as the stars are burning
As long dreams are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do
Anything for love
And I'l be there until the final act
I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
Some days I pray for silence
Some days I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll
Some nights I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be
That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep
As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do
Anything for love
And you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you. So long, so long
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
No, no, no, I won't do...
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do...
But I'll never stop dreaming of you ev'ry night of my life, no way
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
Will you raise me up? will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?
I can do that
I can do that
Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colourise my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that
Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?
I can do that
I can do that
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on
I won't do that
I won't do that
I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around
I won't do that
No, I won't do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
Songwriters: JIM STEINMAN

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: news

Dec. 30th, 2015

01:29 pm

Wow, not one of my friends has posted anything in August. I think I'll break the trend. I've been thinking some things that I want to get out and it's pretty clear that no one is really here anymore. My brain isn't exactly working right it seems. I don't think Lan's is either. He suggested today that we get a divorce. Because he thinks he's dying and doesn't want to leave me with bills...

So this is a draft that I started in August. We have since gone to the Dr, and Lan isn't dying. Well, not imminently anyhow. Now I'm just going to post it so that there's some action here. How ya'll doing? Hello? Anyone???

Current Mood: hmmmmm
Current Music: Maury on TV. WTH Lan?

Mar. 16th, 2015

01:39 am - My mouth

It gets me in SO much trouble. One would think I like the taste of feet considering how often my own are in my mouth. Now Lan's upset and all I wanted was to be close to him. I tried to go about it in other ways, but asking outright for what I wanted (which I hear is what men want?) was seen as being selfish and demanding. I'm very frustrated. Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Lan said something he's never said to me before. "I'm going to sleep on the couch." I don't know if that will actually happen, we'll see when he comes in from smoking.

Current Mood: upset, sad, and horny
Current Music: the fan and my loneliness SIMH Van Halen "Love Comes Walking In"

Dec. 18th, 2014

06:33 am

Hello December. Seems there's nothing new to say, just the same old thing. For some reason I'm not sleeping much, I wonder if my meds are mixed up. I don't think so, but then...well, I'm pretty tired so maybe my brain's all mixed up. Things are good, finally able to get something out of all the work and $ we've put into growing and Lan has gotten GOOD at it. So tasty, so uh, damn where's the word...effective?

I feel very spoiled, my brother is giving me $500 for xmas and I get a new phone! There will be a way to skype with my brother, and eventually my nephew. I'm so excited, I can't stand it! There's a part of me that's incredibly envious, wishing it was me instead of him. Knowing that's not to be, I channel it all into being thrilled for him. He felt his child move for the first time not too long ago, and I can only imagine the thrill it gave him. I bought stuff for Selmin's shower today, but I need a few more things. This weekend is going to be spent baking, so I'll have to get the last few things next week.

I'm sad that I don't have a piano. I wish I hadn't given it up. John said he and his buddies would help me move it but I have no idea how to approach it with Nikki. I paid for all the moving expenses, she never gave me any $ or even said "thank you" so I don't feel too terrible about asking for it back. Of course Lorrie has said she's thinking of getting rid of the piano, so maybe I could just take that one and leave the other where it is. Or I could just forget about it, it's not like I played it that much anyways. It's just one more thing that I could have used to keep my brain active in different ways.

And now maybe I can go to sleep. At least I have to try. Ugh!

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: SIMH--???I won't give up on you???

Oct. 22nd, 2014

12:30 am

Weird how I think about making posts here, but then another month goes by and nothing.

I'm very excited to get a nephew, and there's a tattoo I've been thinking of for a long time. I know, that seems like a non-sequitur, but they're related. I've wanted something to...can't think of the right word...acknowledge? honor? celebrate? my relationship with D for a long time, and because of our mutual love of music I was thinking of a music staff with a "d" on it. And if they do name my new nibbling (love that word, thanks to Amy for introducing me to it) Gabriel I can put a "g" on it as well. Lan won't like it, but if it's for my nephews...

I'm devastated that they're not selling Diet Pepsi with vanilla around here any more. I have about 8 cans left, then I'm forced to go with a kind that's not my favorite. Maybe I'll drink more water? Ha!

I did find the jewelry I thought I'd lost. I had dropped into my sister's chair, and there it stayed since April. The only ones I "lost" were my only real jewelry--my sapphire necklace and the black pearl necklace I got in New Zealand. There was a part of me that had a pit in my stomach since I discovered they weren't in my jewelry bag. It was such a relief to find them. And Mom had just found some of my other jewelry at her house, some of my really sparkly things. I feel more complete.

Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: Queensryche--Disconnected

Sep. 9th, 2014

04:15 pm - North Cascades

Yesterday Lan drove us up to Mt. Vernon to the Royal Star Chinese Buffet for lunch. They have to best sweet buns ever, so I decided that Lan's new nickname would be Lan "Sweet Buns" Bidon. So if you hear me call him that...

We then drove out hwy. 20 to Pateros. We wanted to check out how burned things got out there and were happy to discover that the cabin we stayed in at x-mas a few years ago hadn't been damaged. It was pretty amazing how close the fires got in some cases. We took some pictures with Lan's phone, maybe some day I'll email them to myself and download them.

We owe Nick payment for all his help with the move and I thought we'd be driving by where he was so we brought it with us. He, of course, was too busy to meet us and we decided to go home via hwy. 2 rather than I90 at the last minute. I realized when we passed a sign that we were going to drive right by Goldbar, so stopped in the see Sarah and Mike and Don, who we owed the same thing as we did Nick, so delivered that and got some hugs. I love it when last minuted things like that work out. When we got there Lan was telling me how tired he was, and we'd only stay for 5 minutes. I told him I'd take his cue as to when to leave, and we stayed for probably about 1/2 hour, much better than the 5 minutes. Even better, when we left he told me he'd had a good time. That bodes well for future visits.

I'm really looking forward to getting our house in good order. It will be much easier having more space to store all of Lan's mom's stuff that we don't use. Then maybe I can get Yvonne out here to help me hang pictures, that will be awesome!

I've noticed a lot more lines and wrinkles on my face lately. I, however, and not concerned about my looks enough to spend any $ or time to do anything about it. Sometimes I use face creams, but I'm not even willing to do that consistently.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Eminem--Remember Me?

Sep. 7th, 2014

08:20 pm

It's now been more than a month since I've smoked a cigarette. Here we go again. Maybe I won't start again? Please?

I've been drinking a lot more than I usually do, not sure what's up with that. Which means I've been drunk twice in the last 2 weeks, drunk enough that I don't remember going to bed. It's not to the point where I'm worried about it, but with my family history...well, there have been several family members that have been in treatment for substances including alcohol and I don't want to just assume it won't become a problem. Because pot is my drug of choice, and I don't plan on that changing. Plus it's cheaper--well, it is for us anyhow.

I don't know what's wrong with me, why I can't seem to stop myself from saying sexual things to guys I've slept with in the past. It's all fantasy, and I tell myself that it's different than it was with the other guy because there's no way I can thing there's anything but a sex thing with this guy. But that's what I thought last time. And there was so much I read into what he said. I see that now, how he never said the things I thought he did. Some things he did. Damnit, why am I still thinking about him? It's obvious that he never gave two shits for me, let alone cared about me. I really need to just be a good wife.

Lan deserves me to be a good wife. He loves me so much, he's so good to me. I took a step today to ensure that because he asked me to. I wish that I had done it sooner, I'm not sure why I waited. *shrugs* it's done now. I'm struggling, but I'm persevering. Strange how the brain can find excuses for doing the wrong thing. It's kind of like an addiction thing. Talking to Charlie today he said he never quit drinking even when he told me he had. That he'd lied. I told him "I figured as much. Addicts lie." Not me, not this time. Not again.

Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: RHPS--Rose Tint my World/Floor Show

Aug. 16th, 2014

10:47 pm

Here we are again, more than a month since I've posted. I read more regularly, even comment if my friends post but somehow never get around to posting myself. It's good to see some people make more use of lj, I do enjoy it more than fb. Even though there are more people there. I just seem to feel more restricted there. I'm sure there's a way to make it so that only certain people on my friend's list can see, but I don't feel like figuring that out.

I'm back to not smoking--2 weeks since I've had a cigarette tomorrow. We have enough pot now. For a while I'll be extra stoned, as I'll be smoking pot instead of cigarettes when I have a craving. I'm not having a whole hell of a lot of them right now for which I'm glad. Lan says that he hasn't noticed me being bitchier than usual since I quit and I hope that's the case. I don't feel bitchier.

I also quit taking the anti-depressant because I seem to have had a hard time climaxing since I started taking it. As that's one of the ways I naturally become less "depressed" and I think that things have changed so my situation is making me happier, I don't think it's worth the tradeoff. more about sexCollapse )

It's been wonderful seeing Donna--we're totally kindred spirits. I feel like she just thinks the same way that I do, and that's pretty validating. I hope she finds it the same. It's another reason I'm glad Amy's living here. Happily, I find that I enjoy living with John as well. He often brings friends by, and it's good to have the young energy around. Lan really likes it as well, and wishes Jessica wanted to move in too. Even if Amy wasn't here, we couldn't do that because Steven comes with her and there's no way 5 people and 1 bathroom would work. Not for any length of time anyways. Especially since no one can really shower if any other water is being used in the house because there's no water pressure.

Oh! And I haven't even said the best thing! I'm going to be an aunt!!! Biologically! I'm so happy that my brother (ok, sister-in-law) has a bun in her oven! She thinks she a little over a month along and will learn more when she's further. I get a niece or nephew! I have a feeling it's a boy, but when I refer to the kid I always say "she" so I'm obviously not very convinced of that.

I'm not done, but I have to be, so more later. Muah!

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Seahawks pregame from Friday

Jul. 14th, 2014

09:03 pm

Oh yeah, and owning your own business sucks! Grrrrr!!!

Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: At Midnight

09:01 pm

Long time no post! I think it's about time. Things are moving along, getting done slowly but surely. It's John's 21st birthday today, too bad we don't get paid until Wednesday. None of his friends want to go out tonight. Most of them are younger than him, so can't. We're going to take him out to the closest bar, the Star Lake Inn. It's where Lan and I went on the 4th, they have a big window overlooking Star Lake where rich people live and they compete for who has the best firework show. It was nice, not a very busy evening at the bar. Lan and I stood out on the deck and watch fireworks with our arms around each other, saying things like "reminds me of last night." Because my mind resides in the gutter.

OK, time to get dressed to take John out, I can't go naked.

Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: some silly tv show

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